What is it that separates good speakers from really exceptional ones?
I once put that question to the very experienced chairman of a business leaders group who regularly brought in speakers to address his members.
He said the answer could be summed up in one word: "Emotion".
The really impressive speakers who - when scored by his members came close to ten out of ten - brought more to his group than knowledge and wisdom.
They touched his members at a deeper level.
I was reminded of this when an American speaking colleague, Mark Fritz, drew my attention to a currently popular US negotiation expert who puts touching emotions at the heart of his strategy.
He's Professor Stuart Diamond.
Professor Diamond says dealing with negotiation partners at an emotional level is vital when it comes to achieving what you want - and also in growing the "pie" rather than just dividing it up between you.
Here the professor is pictured with the person he calls his favourite negotiation partner - his eight-year-old son, Alexander.
Professor Diamond lectures to Google bosses among others.
But he insists his techniques also work in his dealings with Alexander - to the extent that he can get his child to willingly go to bed at an agreed time!
Respect.
The fundamental precept behind his approach to negotiations is that "perceptions and emotions are more important than power and logic."
So when it comes to your negotiation partners, Professor Diamond says something which may sound irrational on the surface, but which - when you think about it - contains a fundamental truth.
"The pictures in the heads of the other party" he says "are more important than any collections of facts, evidence and resources than you can possibly muster".
This is something you may inherently know, but which the professor brings impressively - and emotionally - to life.
I've taken to drawing upon Professor Diamond's approach when it comes to my workshops on "Giving Great Answers To Tough Questions".
This is because when formulating great answers, you need to take into account both the factual side and the emotional side of those who you are talking to - whether it's your bank manager, your customers or your own staff.
Professor Diamond's lecture on YouTube runs 48 minutes and 42 seconds - and then there's a Q and A.
It's worth investing the time - as you'll learn, among other things, how Google used his method to make millions on one deal.
I've watched it three times - and utilised what the professor says more times than that.
You can check out the professor's contentions on YouTube.
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Leading@Google: Stuart Diamond |
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